Monthly Archives: June 2008

Kahaani ‘K’ Ki

I remember a quiz I participated in 4th Standard.

On being asked the author of Mahabharata, a team from another school responded in alarming chorus- “B R Chopra”. Obviously they didn’t want to waste the chance to get easy points.

Well .. ladies and Gentlemen .. gear up for the new answer from 4th graders – “Ekta Kapoor”.

Last week, I read this, and was very sure it was all just fiction and nothing of this sort was actually materializing in our very own Ekta Kapoor’s head. How wrong was I.

Saw the promotional ads for ‘Kahani Hamare Mahabharat ki’ last saturday and they have had me thinking since then, whether Ekta Kapoor has actually reached the position in Indian Television Industry to re-tell the biggest Epic of all time.

As I see it, there can be only two possible outcomes of this latest endeavor from Ms. Kappor –

1. Either the Indian public will love it, and my kids will someday tell me that my knowledge of Mahabharata is flawed and Arjun really did die twice and was re-born with a plastic surgery. Also the real reason behind the Mahabharata show-down was not that Pandavas were fighting for their right to rule but because Kauravs had business interest in Kurushetera and wanted to set up marijuana factories there, which Pandavas objected to. Am also sure, that my kids will also someday tell me that plastic surgery had originated in Mahabharata times and is not a new thing from the 20th Century.

2. On second thoughts, Ekta Kapoor might be forced to shut down the transmission of her latest Kahani because of protests from Bajrang Dal and Shiv Sena who would object to the fact that Draupati was not appropriately dressed. But knowing Ms. Ekta, the chances of this happening are pretty much the same as are the chances of her marrying George Bush.

Am sure Ms. Kapoor saw a brilliant story line already available to her and thanks to her twists and turns habits, am sure this Mahabharata would end up being the next big thing on Indian Television. The more I think of it, the more I understand why Ms. Kapoor decided to re-tell Mahabharata.

1. Mahabharata has the inbuilt K-factor. Multiple husbands for the same wife and she need not even dispense with actors – all five husbands were known to have lived together happily with one wife.

2. The episodes with Geeta recitation to Arjun will be a huge money saver. The TRPs will continue to rise because of die hard devotees waiting for each word coming out from Lord’s mouth. But Ms. Kapoor can easily ask other actors to take a month long break while only two actors (Poor Lord Krishna and Arjun) need to come for shoots. Of course, other people like spot boys etc can also be relieved of their duties for this month with only three people required – Arjun, Krishna and the Camera Man who can run from one place to another and do flashy things on the duo’s faces.

3. Am sure Ekta Kapoor, by now, already gets discounts from the animation and sound people because of her habit to over use the flashy faces and sounds in every scene. These discounts will come in handy, finally, in Mahabharata with every scene being a high voltage drama and all fight sequences being hard fought.

Of course, Ekta Kapoor can actually prove all her detractors wrong and make a splendid Mahabharata which would be on the lines of the actual Epic and would make all – fundamentalists and aunties at home – happy. But then, the chances of that happening are pretty much the same as her chances of marrying – at all.

With that out of the way, here is the latest happening from the streets of Bangalore

Saw a GUY a couple of days back at a traffic signal wearing a T-shirt that said “Wish these were brains”. What can I say .. I only hope he was wearing the T just as a bet and it wasn’t a part of his permanent collection.

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